Dianne boating after stroke

One of the phrases that describes Dianne in my mind is “Attitude is Everything.” In her words: “I choose to be a survivor not a victim.” Her attitude has helped her manage the physical and emotional trauma of a major stroke which has required her to be in assisted living and be reliant on a motorized wheelchair…and she does not let that stop her from living a full and vibrant life. Dianne has used humor and her strong faith to help herself cope with the challenges she has experienced and be able to give to others. Her positive life energy & vitality can be seen and felt in her interactions with others and most recently in her wheelchair dancing at the Dana West Yacht Club!

After suffering a stroke in 2009 which affected her left side and made her permanently unable to use her left hand, Dianne began a journey which ended up deepening her faith and her commitment to make a difference in the lives of others everywhere she goes. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) is the scripture that kept her going through her rehabilitation process and all the life changes she has experienced from her stroke and is her constant source of support.

In addition to her faith, humor has been an important part of coping after the stroke. Her ability to find the funny side of a difficult situation has helped her handle the emotional difficulties of post-stroke life and has brought laughter to those around her…doctors, nurses, rehab patients, friends at the yacht club and residents in the assisted living homes that she has lived in for the past several years. She jokes that since her stroke she’s been “a stand-up comedienne, but sitting down.” She shares her story and the way faith and humor helped her after her stroke in her book Different Strokes for Different Folks Plus My Jokes (available at christianbook.com and Amazon.com).

One of the examples she gives in her book is that after her stroke she had to go to the bathroom all the time and started calling herself “Mrs. Peabody.” When she went to see her doctor and he asked how the pill she was taking to try to remedy it was working, she said “It’s not and I’m really pissed off.” The doctor got the play on words, grinned and said “that’s a cute joke.” Although it really was not a laughing matter, the humor was an effective coping mechanism that helped her get through many post-stroke hardships.

Her faith is an element of her life that been strengthened by her stroke and through other hardships as well. After her first husband, Carlos Vidal, a famous Cuban Jazz conga player who was 22 years her senior, died in 1996, she found a closer relationship with God and started studying the bible. She joined a mission group who went to a Mexico village every 2 months to help local pastors with children at the orphanage and she was put in charge of crafts with the children. One of her favorite projects was helping them create shields with Jesus on the front and the words “I can do all things through Christ.”

A few years later, she had an opportunity to travel to Africa with a mission group to dedicate new wells which brought clean water to many villages there. She had no idea how she would afford to go and decided to put up a notice at her Realtors office where she worked as a part time Realtor. God provided with financial donations to help offset her costs.

African mission – Dianne with tin can maraca.

Her experience in Africa was memorable. Her role in this mission was also mainly focused on the children. She taught the kids to sing (“Bingo, Bango, Bongo I don’t want to leave the Congo”…a 1940’s song which they all loved singing even though they didn’t understand the words!) and made maracas with rocks inside tin cans. She also helped in the first aid clinics they held at each village. She remembers the villagers were so happy and grateful to have the clean water…they poured it over their heads and sang joyfully, harmonizing beautifully. They were also very open to prayer in opposition to the witch doctors who promoted fear, and she witnessed prayer create actual healing while there.

She is proud to have been part of giving them “a hand up, not a hand out” and firmly believes that helping people learn to take care of themselves better is the blessing. In this case, the clean water allows the children to go to school and learn because they are not getting sick and dying of Cholera.

The support she receives from her faith is something she also shares with others. She recounted a situation from the first board & care home she was in where she saw a lady sitting by herself. Dianne went over and played Elvis singing “How Great Thou Art” and the lady squeezed her hand. Dianne got her to laugh and would talk to her and help feed her. They discovered they had the exact same birthday – month, day and year — which created an even stronger bond. Dianne helped her new friend feel better and also talked to her about death: “When the Lord calls us home, don’t worry about it. When you get up there I’ll find you. If the Lord’s calling you home, it’s time to go, it’s ok.” Her friend’s daughter later thanked her for “making mom laugh.” She was a true blessing in this woman’s life.

Dianne’s desire to be a source of joy and be a positive influence on others came from another stroke survivor at the Palm Springs Stroke Recovery Center in 2014 where she was getting rehab therapy after her “good knee” started going out on her. There was another stroke survivor, Angie, at the center who had such a positive spirit and was so full of joy & vigor, encouraging others who were also in rehab. Seeing Angie’s positive attitude and impact on others made Dianne decide she wanted to be the same.

Through her stroke she has learned that it’s as important to receive as it is to give. “To all of us who are stubborn and want to do it all by ourselves…we need to accept help graciously and let that person be blessed by helping.” She had a beautiful example of living this and helping to teach it recently when she was at Walmart. She was in the shoe department and there were no staff members around. She asked another shopper if she would help her try on some slippers. The woman, who turned out to be a caregiver, agreed and helped Dianne. The woman’s young daughter was looking at some sparkly boots and Dianne commented they were wonderful. (Dianne is a “fashionista on wheels” and has a fabulous fashion sense.) She decided to give the woman some money to pay for the shoes in gratitude for her help and to allow the little girl to get those shoes. The woman refused it at first, and Dianne said “You just blessed me, now let me bless you.” I’m sure that little girl is walking joyfully in those sparkly boots!

Dianne’s children young…and as adults. Full of fun and joy!

Dianne’s family is a source of pride and joy for her. She had 4 children with Carlos and now has 10 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. She treasures the special moments she has had, such as the trip to Africa, the people she’s helped, and her 2nd marriage on the beach in Hawaii to Tom Riley, a Christian man she met on Match.com. Dianne & Tom shared a love of life on the ocean and spent time on his sailboat and in fellowship with friends from the yacht club. Dianne has had and continues to live a full life and a life blessed with special memories.

Dianne and Tom Hawaii Wedding

Being a blessing to others, using humor as a way to alleviate a challenging situation, being grateful for her blessings, having faith in the hard times…these are the characteristics that Dianne lives by. She has a love for life and a vitality that is contagious and inspiring. Her mottos of faith sustain her including to accept her circumstances because God has a plan. She sees her stroke as part of that plan which created a purpose for her to be an even greater inspiration for others, both through her book and also in everyday interactions, including being a support for her 2nd husband Tom during the two years between his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and his subsequent death in 2015.

She is grateful for her faith and the continuing deepening of her connection with God. She feels closer to God since her stroke. She is grateful for the experiences and travel she was able to do before her stroke: besides Mexico and Africa, Dianne has traveled to Israel, Greece & Turkey with The Footsteps of Paul tour and also has been to Egypt, Spain & London. She is also grateful for Tom introducing her to the Dana West Yacht Club early on in their relationship, which continues to be a source of social connection and, as mentioned at the beginning of this article, a place where she can practice her motorized wheelchair Salsa dancing!

Dianne and her hairdresser who helps her look fabulous!

Dianne is a true source of joy and inspiration. “I’m determined to be content in all circumstances even when I don’t feel like it” and “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” are not just sayings to Dianne. They are words she lives by. She has a generous heart and gives generously: “I have a roof over my head and food…I look at some of these poor people in the world everywhere…I have to give to them…I have what I need from God…if I were to win the Sweepstakes, I would help all these people.” When she thinks of what she might want for herself, the only thing that comes to mind is “a wheelchair van” and then she goes again to thinking of others… “and a caregiver for my brother who just had quadruple bypass surgery and whose wife is sick.”

“When you don’t receive, you are stopping that person from being blessed by their giving.” Her attitude of looking for and appreciating the gifts that God sends her way also brings more to her….showing up in her life in yet another way recently by connecting her to a new taxi driver who helps fulfil God’s purpose for his life by bringing disabled people to his church and Dianne now has a ride to church and other places for a significantly reduced fare.

My life has been blessed by Dianne through knowing her and the reminders I have received by doing this interview: attitude is everything, humor helps and having faith in the hard times. I hope you also find some inspiration and blessings from Dianne’s story.

~ Interview by Deborah Garrett, owner of Living Vibrant Lives Inc & Flashback Music Memories, dedicated to helping Seniors connect to their memories and live more vibrant lives through live vintage music and customized activity programs. ~