When little Carmencita was given the nickname “Mench” as a young girl in the Philippines, she had no idea that it sounded like the Yiddish word “mensch” meaning “good person.” Despite not knowing that definition, she grew up true to the full characterization and is the epitome of goodness, integrity and honor in her role as Head Caregiver at Quality Life Homes.
Quick to laugh and exuding kindness, compassion and love, Mench focuses her attention on the physical and emotional well-being of each resident under her care. She has been on the staff at Quality Life Homes for over 15 years. She is owner Tom Sather’s “right hand” and manages day to day operations for the homes. As a licensed Administrator and manager, her duties span a variety of areas including hiring of other staff members, scheduling, coordinating payroll, overseeing residents, managing employees and shopping for food.
The last responsibility is important because Mench is also the house chef and believes in healthy, nutritious, well-balanced meals that also taste good. She attributes her cooking skill to her Grandmother in the Philippines who was a wonderful cook and made sure all her grandchildren learned her methods. Grandma had them all watching, participating and learning her stirring technique from an early age. Cooking comes naturally to Mench and she doesn’t need to measure her ingredients! She enjoys being a creative cook who serves tasty food and the residents certainly appreciate the results. In her opinion, one of the main keys to promoting a long life is to trim the fat off the meat and cook healthy meals. But that isn’t all. Mench loves variety and makes a special point to learn the dishes that appeal to new residents, particularly those with a cultural significance to them. When a resident of Japanese heritage moved in, Mench learned several Japanese dishes, including Chicken Tonkatsu which became one of the favorites in the house. In addition to American cuisine, she loves cooking Chinese, French, Italian and is known especially for her Beef Brisket (Tom wants to know when she’s got that on the menu!), Beef Stew and French Onion Chicken Bake. She adds special touches like healthy sauces (stroganoff, curry sauces) for her beef, chicken & pork dishes which the residents particularly like. Of course every entrée has fresh vegetables on the side. And according to most of the residents, she has the best meatloaf in town. She mentioned that residents at her house seem to live longer. I personally think it must be because they don’t want to miss out on the delicious food!
Another one of Mench’s skills is her ability to laugh with the residents and lift their spirits. She loves to laugh with the residents every morning. Even residents who are grumpy or difficult end up softening to her infectious humor. She often uses things special to the residents in order to make the day better for them. One resident loved Hawaii and used to vacation there, so during bath time Mench would make lots of bubbles with the soap and sing “Tiny Bubbles” & “Pearly Shells”. Though she was 108 and had dementia, the resident could remember the lyrics to those songs and they would sing together every morning. Mench never gives up trying to make their lives better and ends up winning the hearts of even the most resistant people who move in!
Mench’s great sense of humor is shared by her husband, Armando. How they met is an interesting story. Armando was on vacation in the Philippines and he happened to stop and get his hair cut at a salon near her family house. Mench’s mother was getting her hair done at the same time for a wedding and the hairdresser mentioned to her that the man in the other chair was from America. Mench’s mother started talking to him and told him that three of her daughters were in America and she said he should call them when he got home. He was happy to do so, especially when Mom went across the street and brought back a photo album of the girls! When he returned back to the U.S., he and Mench started talking to each other over the phone and discovered they shared a similar sense of humor and got along very well. He was living in Arizona but after a month of calls, he came to California to visit her in person and they started dating. Things progressed and he and Mench got married in 2009 with Tom and Dawn Sather as two of their witnesses.
On her days off, Mench likes to go shopping (“do girl stuff”), see movies, eat out (especially Chinese food), stroll along the beach with her husband and see friends. In December she is going back to the Philippines for the first time in many years. If you think we start too early with the Christmas decorations here in the States, you haven’t been to the Philippines! Mench told me that Christmas is a big event in the Philippines. They start playing Christmas songs there in September and the excitement builds through all the “-ber” months. She is eager to celebrate Christmas back home with her extended family. She has 20 nephews and nieces (plus two grand-nieces!) and she always sends a big package of Christmas gifts every year. To actually be with them this year when they open their presents will be pure happiness for her.
Mench clearly loves her job and the fact that she is able to make a positive difference in the lives of the residents in Quality Life Homes. When asked what her favorite part of the job was, she said her heart is filled when the residents compliment her cooking, when they hug or kiss her goodnight, and when they say “I love you.”
Left to right: Tom Sather, Mench, Dawn Sather
Mench is loved by not only the residents but also the other employees. She creates an environment of love, laughter and caring for all those she touches. She is truly a “mensch.”
Deborah Garrett is a professional singer and owner of Flashback Music Memories, providing Vintage Entertainment and memory-enhancing music and activities to the residents at Quality Life Homes. Learn more at www.flashbackmusicmemories.com.